Farewell, my friends

Don Friesen
June 24, 2012
Ottawa Mennonite Church
www.ottawamennonite.ca

Many people have passed through this congregation over the years, and collectively we have extensive experience with farewells. I have very little experience in saying farewell to a congregation, however, having only done it once before.

When my father, in his declining years – which numbered about twenty or thirty – said goodbye to me, he always added, "Well, I may not be here the next time you come." It annoyed me. What was I supposed to say? So I always made the same mistake, and asked him where exactly he planned to go!

Goodbyes can be awkward, even if one is not moving away. Often it's a long, drawn-out affair that begins with, "Well, we should be going," until your guests actually get up and move to the door. Then there's the doorway farewell, the driveway farewell, and finally, the waving of goodbye. Some people don't say Goodbye soon enough, while others say it too soon! Willsie Martin, a Los Angeles pastor new to his congregation, arrived at church early one Sunday morning and saw an elderly woman starting to climb the steps of the church. Willsie offered to help her. They climbed the steps together, and when they got to the top she turned to him and asked, "Can you tell me who's preaching this morning?" He smiled and said, "Yes. Willsie Martin." To which she replied, "Would you mind helping me back down the steps?"

The Apostle Paul's Farewell to the Ephesian Congregation

I was curious, as I prepared this sermon, what counsel the Scriptures might offer, and came across the Apostle Paul's farewell to the Ephesian congregation. Paul had a lot more experience than I have in saying farewell. In Acts, chapter 15, Paul says farewell to some Gentile believers. (Acts 15:29) In Acts, chapter 18, he says farewell to the Corinthian congregation (18:18) and leaves for Syria. In chapter 20, he says farewell to the Ephesian congregation (20:20) and leaves for Macedonia. In chapter 21 he bids farewell to the believers in Tyre (21:6) and sails for Jerusalem.

Paul's first visit to Ephesus was curtailed because of a riot (Acts 19) that broke out over his visit. The city was very angry with Paul, and so he left in a rush. If you want to know more about Ephesus, Bill J can tell you. Bill visited there a week ago, and apparently they're still angry at Paul! Later, en route to yet another place he met with the elders of the Ephesian congregation and said farewell in a more measured fashion.

I can identify with some of the things Paul said as he bid farewell to the elders. He told them, "You ...know how I lived among you the entire time from the first day that I set foot in Asia, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears...." (Acts 20:18-19) I too lived among you ever since I set foot in Ontario.

Paul said, "I did not shrink from doing anything helpful, proclaiming the message to you...." (20:20) I have tried to do the same, although I may have shrunk on occasion.

I once pointed out, in a sermon, how a certain aspect of Jesus' behaviour provided yet another example of how Jesus and I are different. It elicited howls of laughter. I thought the difference was obvious! There are also ways in which the Apostle Paul and I are different. In our passage Paul mentions that he is on his way to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to him there, but expecting imprisonment and persecution. (Acts 20:22-23) I, on the other hand, am on my way to Winnipeg, a mosquito-infested lake bed that is bitterly cold in the winter. I don't think there's any comparison!

Paul also told the Ephesian elders, "I know that none of you ...will ever see my face again. (20:24) Well, I do hope to see your faces again.

Paul assures the Ephesians, "I coveted no one's silver or gold or clothing." (20:33) I wish I could say the same, but some of you have such nice homes and possessions, and have taken such great trips, that it was almost impossible not to covet them.

I resonate with some of Paul's words, however, and not just his claim that he worked with his own hands to support himself while with them. In the early years I took on part-time work to supplement my OMC salary, although I also remember – with gratitude – a type of profit-sharing arrangement when tithes and offerings exceeded our budget.

Paul served many churches, while I have served only two, but I have tried to serve in a similar spirit, through good times and not-so-good times, attempting, in concert with you, to nurture faith in God, and lives shaped by the spirit of Jesus. Like Paul, my desire was to "finish my course and the ministry that I received, ...to testify to the good news of God's grace." (Acts 20:24) And like Paul, "I commend you to God and to the message of his grace, a message that is able to build you up...." (20:32), and I also join with him in saying, "...we must support the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, ...(who) said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" (20:35)

A Collection of Cherished Memories

I leave this congregation with many memories, of which I will share but a few – and if I fail to mention your name, it's because I have time for only a sampling. It was late in 1977, shortly after the birth of our daughter, Shauna, that Bill J called me in Winnipeg, to see if I was interested in serving the Ottawa congregation. That led to a visit to Ottawa in February of 1978. The Search Committee asked us how long we were willing to stay if things went well. Five years, we said. Well, that stretched to 34, which is mostly a tribute to you – to your hospitality, generosity and love.

I remember my installation service that first September. It was a very simple ceremony that took place in what is now the kitchen, and involved a skit provided by the children of the church, thanks to Peter W's efforts.

I remember that soon after my arrival Helen T and Mary E arrived to recover the old office chair, until then covered with a decrepit plastic in which was embedded a generous amount of Gestetner grime. My office was then in the basement, under what is now the women's washroom. I have always found it curious that each time my office moved over the years, my former office became a washroom!

I remember a sermon in which I repeatedly mispronounced the word, "chasm," in a sermon, and the voluminous feedback I received led me to conclude that while this congregation is exceedingly charitable about questionable theology, it has no patience with abusing language's intricacies and rules of pronunciation.

I remember, soon after introducing a sharing time during worship, that a young woman got up and went on and on about how good it was to be with us. She sang the praises of the congregation, even though her attendance was spotty at best. When she was done, there was a slight pause, and I said, "Well ... we're here every Sunday." The congregation burst into laughter, and &%^!@*^$#& has never forgiven me.

I carry with me memories of thirty years of collaboration with Eric R; we were OMC's Rogers and Hammerstein, if you will, only yesterday Eric got to be Hammerstein, and I attempted a modicum of Rogers' musicality.

I remember the overwhelming support you provided when our son, Donovan, took ill during his first year of life. He spent months at CHEO and at Sick Kids in Toronto, and you were very generous with your time and financial support. Betty J – Heidi's mom, Oliver's grandmother – spent many hours taking care of our daughter, Shauna.

I remember that after eight years at OMC I felt very discouraged and was ready to move on. Then two year-old Andrew J died, and the congregation's response was so moving that I decided to accept another term of service, saying to myself, "This one's for you, Andrew."

I cherish the many private and privileged memories of people who allowed me to walk with them through significant stages of life and death. It was all I could do to keep from weeping when two weeks ago, during my last communion service with you, we sang, "Blest Be the Tie that Binds".

Gratitude and Regrets

Sam Shoemaker (1893-1963), Rector of Calvary Episcopal Church in Manhattan, said, as he took leave of his congregation, "I look back with many thanks. It has been a great run. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Much could have been better, and I have, by no means, done what I should have done with all that I have been given. There were dreams that did not come true, and losses not a few."

That has also been my experience. It's been a great run. I am grateful for your love and care through family illnesses, a few of them my own. I am grateful for the generous sabbaticals you provided for my spiritual replenishment. Our family remembers with great fondness the sabbatical you gave to me in 1988. We spent three to four months in southern Africa, becoming familiar with the cross-cultural work of the Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) workers there and living as a family in another context.

I am grateful for the opportunities you gave me to contribute ecumenically. I have served on the Christian Council of the Capital Area for many years, and remember too participating in the first Christian Festival Chrétien in 1982, a huge event that stretched my abilities. OMC's contribution, through Leonard G and myself, was much appreciated by the larger Christian community.

I am grateful for your patience as I grew from an uncertain and inexperienced 28-year-old to an uncertain and jaded 62-year-old!

I also have regrets, but they are mostly about myself; about any others I had best keep my counsel.

Feeble Echoes of Celestial Strains

When the MCC Ottawa office celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary, Bill wrote a piece entitled, "Has the Ottawa Office Done any Good?" I have neither the confidence nor the courage to ask the same question of my ministry. I hope I planted a few gospel seeds, but I leave it to God to nurture and bring them to completion. (Philippians 1:6) Paul made it clear that it's not about the individuals – Apollos, Cephas, Paul, or myself – but about Jesus, and the good news of his love. (1 Corinthians 1:12-17)

My goal, through these decades are best captured by poet and hymn-writer Adelaide Procter (1825-1864): I have "strove to render feeble echoes of celestial strains". (Unexpressed)