God as Close

Katie Derksen
July 29, 2001
Ottawa Mennonite Church

www.ottawamennonite.ca

Before I start, I'd like to draw your attention to today's painting. Elisa Massferrer created it. I would have invited her to come explain it to you herself, but her family is away this weekend. So, I'll pass on to you what she told me. She chose to paint a person walking in a garden of tulips because for her, God is sometimes easiest felt in nature. Out in nature, she says, you're literally alone, but at the same time, you have a feeling that God is with you. When I asked how she knew that God was with her, she commented that God is always with each person, but that sometimes we're more aware of it than others. It's hard to peg down how you know God is with you, but you sense it nonetheless. I invite you to come take a closer look after the service.

When I signed up to speak on the idea of God being close, at least half of me thought "what are you doing?!?" I find that it's pretty hard to talk only about God being close. In many ways, it'd be easier to talk about God being separate, or distant. As beings who need physical contact, and who were created for intimacy, it's easy to feel distanced from God, and to let it slip our minds that God's close to us. It's much easier to feel close to things and people that can be physically sensed in tangible ways.

If I find it so easy to feel the distance between myself and God, why'd I choose to speak on being close to God? Or, more appropriately, on God being close to me? Despite whatever rocky road I've been on in my faith journey, which includes lots of feelings of being distanced from God, there have been times where I've felt God's presence beyond a shadow of a doubt, and times where God has gifted me with glimpses of intimacy with God. In an attempt to help you see why I've chosen to speak on this, I'd like to share a couple of my experiences with you.

When I was getting my degree at Canadian Mennonite Bible College, one of the classes I had to take was called "Studying and Teaching the Bible." Part of the course was a practical component, where the class was split into small groups to give us a chance to lead, participate in, and evaluate Bible Studies. During the practicum, one of the people in my group lead a Bible Study on what has now become my favourite Psalm, Psalm 63.

I can't remember very much from that Bible Study. I can't remember what the main point was, the ways in which Sandra got us to interact with the text, or even really what we talked about. I think Sandra brought this psalm to us because she found it to be so comforting, but I could be wrong.

What I do remember is feeling awe at the images in verses 7 and 8, especially 8. The image of the psalmist's soul clinging to God, and God holding David up in God's right hand is such an intimate picture, and it resonates deep within me. It just doesn't get much closer than that.

Another way the 63rd Psalm has helped me to feel close to God was when I was one a spiritual retreat with some of the other youth pastors from Ontario, just this last February. The leader of the retreat was leading us through a guided meditation, and at one point we were to envision a Biblical place of shelter and comfort. The picture that popped into my mind wasn't of a tent, like Abraham would have lived in, or a house, like the one that the friends lowered the parapalytic into, but what I envisioned was that I was in a blistering hot desert, where the sun beat unmercifully down, and the white sand reflected it right back. Despite this, however, I was comfortable - more than comfortable, I was rejoicing and celebrating. God's Wing was over me, sheltering me and protecting me. The image I was given was directly out of the 63rd psalm, and I couldn't have asked for a better place to be.

Right on the heels of that vision was another one, in the same setting. In this one, however, I was curled up under God's Wing, with my back resting against God's side. I got the feeling that this was the representation of my soul clinging to God, and of God upholding me and supporting me.

These images came to me when I was in a quiet, restful, meditative place. I keep getting blown away by how close God can feel if I just slow down, calm my body and my mind, and just exist. As much as I want to feel God's closeness, it's hard to come to the point where that can happen. It's so easy to just get swept along from day to day, yearning for God. But it's hard sometimes to slow down, and become still and quiet in myself, which seems to be what's necessary for intimacy with God.

So, in light of how hard it can be to find silence and a place to listen for God and to feel close to God, I'd like us all to become quiet, and listen for God's voice. Clear away the things that worry you, or thoughts of anything other than of God. Get comfortable - slouch or sit up, whichever makes you most at ease, and open up your mind to God's presence. I'll start us off with a reading from Psalm 63, and at the end of a short time, I'll call you back with the words of another psalm. Open your minds to God.

Psalm 63:1-8 (NIV)
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

One minute of silence.

"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall never be shaken." (Psalm 62:1-2).

So, was it easy, or, like me, do you find concerns of work, friends, or family intruding in on your thoughts? Did you feel like God was close to you? Sometimes I can sit for five minutes, waiting to hear God or feel God, and spend most of my time simply batting away those niggling little thoughts. It's tough, but the rewards of doing something like this each day can be great, even if you don't feel like you were really aware of God during your time of silence.

At Silver Lake Mennonite Camp last week, I heard part of a story on peace that can also apply to today's topic. At one point, the story talked of how peace can be found in the most urban, noisy setting, and missing in the most quiet, natural place. I'm sure most of us feel that to get to God, we need to get back to nature. But perhaps that's not completely right. I'm not denying the importance of being connected to nature, or the importance of getting out of the cement-encased, horn-honking world that we live in the city, nor am I denying the fact that sometimes we can feel the closest to God outside of the city. What I'm saying is that perhaps we need to learn to find God in the city, in the concrete and the bustle that makes up city life.

How this can be done, I'm still exploring, and I'd be welcome to any suggestions that you may have as to how to be more easily aware of God's nearness in the city. One of the ways that I find sometimes helpful is to listen to music that helps me think about God. Since coming to Ottawa, I've started to get a bit interested in the whole Christian music scene, and I've found some stuff that is pretty great in the ways it talks about God, and in the feelings it evokes in me.

I batted around two different songs that I might play for you today. The first is a song by a ska group called the O.C. Supertones. It's an energetic song, as are pretty much all ska songs, and it talks about a day that the lead singer once had. It talks about all the rotten things that happen to him on the day he has to go in for jury duty: he cuts his head shaving, hits bad traffic, sits and sits in the courthouse with no real result, his car doesn't start, his wife doesn't like his attitude, he forgets his sister's birthday, and more! The chorus is what gets me, tho. It says this:

"Every single moment whether sleeping or awake
Is your creation
And what you've made is good
I don't always thank you for the rough days and the hard times in my life Even though I should."
(Matt Morginsky and Tony Terusa, members of the band)

Today, I'd like to challenge you all with a task. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find out at least one way in which you can be reminded of the nearness of God, and then put it into practice. Whether you are best reminded in silence or through song, as we practiced today, or through reading the Bible, or even through other ways, do it. Engage yourself in the task, and be empowered by the closeness of our loving, intimate God.