Readings: 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11; Psalm 90:1-8, 12
Katie Derksen
This summer, we spent 10 weeks looking at life in all its various stages, as well as the faith that accompanied life at that time. We heard great sermons given by interesting people from our own congregation. Sharing was done through laughter, tears, openness and vulnerability. Those who agreed to share were generally candid, and allowed us as a congregation a window into their lives that perhaps we might not have had otherwise. They were willing to use their lives, joys and struggles both, as examples for us, not because they are any better or any worse than anyone else, but because they were willing to share. I'm sure that those of us who heard at least some of the sermons this summer have felt enriched and empowered by what we heard, as well as perhaps a stronger sense of connection to the person who spoke. In a way, the speakers this summer have helped to show us all a part of the way down the path of faith, and have helped to guide us as we continue on our journey.
Upon reflection, most people could probably come up with one or two individuals who were important in shaping some aspect of their life, especially when they were teenagers. Perhaps there was a teacher that was especially attentive and encouraging, or the parent of a friend who seemed to take a little extra time to support and uplift. Or maybe it was a particularly motivating speaker who got the thought process going in one particular direction, or opened up the mind to new ideas, and new ways of looking at things. Sometimes it's our own parents, or an aunt or uncle. Sometimes it's a stranger who affirms something, or makes a comment that gets our minds reeling. Regardless of who it was, or of our relationship to that person, I think it's safe to say that most of us have benefited from an older individual who came alongside us for a length of time, and enriched our lives by their presence.
We've all heard of life and faith both being referred to as journeys. Usually, on a journey, it's helpful to have a guide, someone who will help to show us the way.
We Aren't Supposed to Be Alone
Long ago, God created humanity. In both creation accounts, humanity was created and blessed as more than just one human - humanity was blessed, and community was established from the very beginning. At first, Adam and Eve had God walking among them to guide and to teach them, but, even when they went against God's will, God didn't leave them completely alone, but continued to be with them, albeit in a different way.
From day one, God created humanity to live together in community, and to learn from one another, as well as to learn from God. We're familiar with the tribes of Israel, and other communities of believers who stuck together. These communities shared all aspects of life together, and learned from one another, from birth to death. There were examples of the stages of life, and of the different trades and occupations, as well as the ways in which individuals followed God, all within close range.
We continue to live together in community, although it is more of a scattered one. We see a lot of familiar faces Sunday mornings, and sometimes we see those same faces during the week. We hear of each other's joys and concerns, and sometimes that can help us to learn from one another. However, I think that most of the learning that happens occurs within relationship, or through talking to one another. It's when we start to learn about the other person - where they come from, what they've experienced, and how they think - that we start to feel a connection to them, and when we can start to learn from them.
How We are Friends
Sometimes, the connections that we have with people are happenstance - we fall into friendship with an individual because of circumstances, or a common interest. Sometimes, however, we are intentional about seeking out a relationship with an individual: perhaps they know something we'd like to know, or they've gone through a similar experience and we'd like to hear their take on it. Or perhaps we view them as a wise individual in many of life's areas, and we feel that they could have a positive impact on our lives. Regardless of how a relationship begins, quite often we land up learning from one another.
There are many different kinds of friendships represented here today, from casual acquaintances to more intense friendships. Some of the relationships here are of the intentional kind - specifically, we've just celebrated the beginning of nine new mentoring relationships. OMC has offered a mentoring programme for a number of years now, and personally, I think it speaks highly of how we as a congregation value our young people, and those who are willing to share of their experiences. Most of us, regardless of age, benefit from having someone a little bit older, or who has gone through something that we're currently going through, walk alongside us, and show us the way. Whether an informal or a formal relationship, the one who has had the experience could be said to be a mentor, or, according to some traditions, a sponsor.
What Today's Youth Need
I'm sure that most of us have by now heard the term "postmodern" and at least some of the implications that this new era has for us. One of the things that has changed is that we are now seeing young people to whom words mean less than experience: simply being told that a particular thing is right or wrong, or that things should be done a particular way is generally not good enough. Granted, listening to those with more wisdom and experience is always a good thing, and should still be encouraged, but, on the whole, youth today benefit greatly from having someone walk alongside them, and show them the way. Gone are the days of being able to say "this should be this way because I say so," or because "it's the way it's always been done," and here are the days of "let me tell you what I experienced" or "I think that this is the way things should be done because I feel..." or "because I personally have seen...." We have entered into a time when experience is the key, especially experience by the individual present at that time - not a friend's girlfriend's cousin's mom, or someone half way around the world, physically or metaphorically.
In this sort of world, mentoring takes on a very important role. Youth, and others, need people who are willing to walk alongside them, and to be open with them about their lives and their experiences. "Tell me something real, and I'll listen to you" is the cry of this generation, as well as "tell me and show me how you have lived your life, and I'll share mine with you."
Mentoring Is an Age-Old Concept
However, mentoring has been around for a very long time. As Katie Funk Wiebe, author of "Bridging the Generations" points out, "...mentoring is a biblical concept" (page 219). She cites some of the more well-known mentoring relationships, such as Elijah and Elisha, Naomi and Ruth, Elizabeth and Mary, Eli and Samuel, and Paul and Timothy. There's real value to the friendship that these people showed each other, and the leadership that was given.
Quite often as Paul wrote letters to various groups of new Christians, he mentored them with his own life, as well as with his advice. Usually, it seemed that he listened first and spoke later, and when he did speak, he was usually encouraging and supporting. He was willing to let people see into his life, and to ask him questions - he, in turn, expected to be able to do the same thing. Paul was a great role model to many, and he still continues to be one. Just one of the ways in which he was a good role model was by the intentionality he put into his relationships.
Let's be Intentional about our Friendships
"Intentional" can be an intimidating word. To some people, it conjures up images of large amounts of time, or of awkward, forced conversations that happen merely because they are "supposed to." Yes, intentional means that things happen because they should, but if there isn't more behind the actions or the words the spirit is missing, making those things almost meaningless.
The mentoring programme at OMC is based upon building intentional relationships between younger members of the congregation and older, more mature members. In this connotation, the word "intentional" should by no means spark nervousness or intimidation. Quite the contrary!! The word is used more to signify the fact that two people are committing to each other for a period of time - committing to learn from each other and to share with each other, and to build a friendship where perhaps there hadn't been one before.
Life is filled with questions, uncertainties, and growth, and nowhere are these more present than in early life. From the time we become aware of the fact that there are differences between people, that not everyone thinks the same way, let alone believes the same thing, questions start coming. During the teen years and the early twenties, the questions tend to come fast and furious, as people try to figure out who they are, what they believe and why, and how they will go about living all that out in this world of differences and complications. Most people benefit from having an older person or two walking alongside them through these times, in the form of parents. However, as most of us know and can remember, being a teenager and a young adult generally means that not only are there lots of answers to find, and questions to ask, but there's also independence to forge. Sometimes this leads to unfortunate friction, to varying degrees, between young people and their parents. Usually, it isn't caused through a lack of love on the part of either party, and usually the friction passes.
However, sometimes it's helpful during this stage for young people to have another adult to walk alongside them, though this individual is never to take the place or the role of a parent. Actually, scratch the "sometimes" from that previous statement: pretty much everyone benefits from having another person walk alongside them, regardless of age or life stage. But, it's especially helpful during the formative, earlier years.
The chance to have another opinion, or even the same opinion as a parent voiced by someone not a parent, is so valuable. The chance to learn that adults are alright and that adults care for young people, not out of blood ties or "because they have to" is something to treasure. This is at least part of why we offer a mentoring programme at OMC.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the mentoring programme, allow me to explain it a bit. The way it works is that when a child turns twelve, he or she is given the chance to choose an adult of the congregation to be their mentor. The adult is approached, and if agreement is given, the two enter into a mentoring relationship. The mentoring pairs are initially for a year, though the hope is that the relationship would continue officially until the end of highschool, although I know that some have continued beyond. Generally the pair become good friends, and share many things together. Perhaps both enjoy picnics, or sports, or building things, or any number of activities. The pairs are encouraged to meet monthly, although myself and the co-coordinator of the mentoring programme try to plan an event for all the mentoring pairs to gather together every other month.
Though the relationship may be a bit awkward at first, hopefully over time the two would grow closer to each other in friendship, and in trust. As well, it is hoped that the elder member of the pair would become a bit of a role model for the youth, someone to openly model a good Christian life. Hopefully both members are open to learning, as well - I know that I personally have been mentored by an individual younger than I am, even as I hopefully mentored that person.
Now, the whole role model thing may sound a bit scary, but really, it shouldn't be. I think it's safe to say that most of us, almost regardless of age, is someone that another person looks up to, for whatever reason. We've all achieved something, no matter how small we may think it is, that another person thinks is great. Or, perhaps we live our lives in a way that another person thinks is worth emulating. In any case, we're all role models to someone else already. I think it's also pretty safe to say that we each try to live our lives as best we can, and we're usually pretty honest about that. It's just that within the mentoring relationship, these sorts of things are actually acknowledged, at least on a subconscious level, if not spoken right out.
We Need the Support of a Community too
As much as we all can benefit from having in individual walk intentionally alongside us as we learn to walk the path of faith, we also need the support of a community. In the early stages of Christianity, individuals weren't converted to the faith, but entire communities - and I'm sure that this didn't just happen to occur, but that those, like Paul, who were out there, spreading the Word and the Gospel, worked hard at creating communities of believers. In his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul gives us a little bit of a reason why. He wrote to the Thessalonians about spiritual armour, the breastplate of love and faith, and the helmet of the hope of salvation. It wasn't addressed as being the armour of individuals, but of the community of believers. They were told to "encourage one another and build up each other," as they had already been doing (1 Thessalonians 5:11). The entire community was to be a support to the individual members.
As a congregation, we also already encourage each other, as the Thessalonians did. We share our joys and concerns with each other, whether during the worship service or at another time. We have many different ways in which people can express the ways that they feel Christ has called them to live, whether that is by studying the Bible, or supporting refugees, learning more about people through social activities with them, or through joining a small group. These are all community events, but they are community events that support and encourage individuals .
Another way in which we do this is through the various youth ministry programmes that exist. These programmes, of which the mentoring pairs are a part, acknowledge the potential and the excitement that our young people have for faith and for growth. And really, when it comes down to it, that's why we have mentoring pairs, and youth groups for various ages - to witness to our young people the path of faith, and to shine the light of Christ for them. In turn, we allow our young people to witness to us the faith that they have, and their experiences with it.
The path of faith is long and winding, with smooth patches and rough spots, backtracks and fast-tracks. Although we each need to forge our own path, it's helpful to have someone walk near us, or to remind us that we can do it. The path of faith needs light as well, in the form of prayer, Scripture, and encouragement. The Christ-light is something that we can shine for ourselves, but it is also something that we can and should shine for another person. We are all travellers on the road of faith, and we can all learn from each other.
It's my prayer that God bless each of us as we continue to learn, and as we continue to share our experiences with one another. Amen.
All quotations of Scripture, unless otherwise noted, are from the New Revised Standard Version.